“My Dear Table” – An Open Letter to the Tables of the World

"My Dear Table" - An Open Letter to the Tables of the World

I still remember the grammar classes in school, where we were taught how to write letters. Little did we know that by the time we considerably ‘grow up’, writing emails is going to be the ‘in vogue’ thing to do. Nevertheless, I did get a chance to write a letter, thanks to the Prompt for Day 5 – Write a letter, in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. So, I have quite been in touch with everyone I love (Yayy!!) So, my take on the prompt had me writing a letter to my Table.

It may sound unusual to you that I chose to write to an inanimate Table, but I have a bone to pick with it. This opportunity seemed the best suited for my catharsis on the pent up feelings I have for my table. I’m sure a lot of us will resonate with this, so I’m calling it an Open letter, & you may read it to your table as well.  😉

My Dear Table,

Hope this letter finds you in the best of health… though I’m the one responsible for it, but you know – Courtesy and Manners! Some ‘people’ still have it.

I have been meaning to write to you for a while, because it is quite apparent that the soft language like, ‘oh dear’ or ‘oh my god’ don’t seem to work on you anymore.

It’s even more appalling that ‘GAWWWDDD NO!!’ and the murmur of cusses under my breath is also as quite useless.

It has been as ineffective as pouring water onto an inverted glass.

So, I decided to have ‘The talk’ and honestly, I was surprised at how ignorant and blank you could seem. Are you so unaware of our difficulties and sufferings?

A simple nod and an apology would have saved you from being at the receiving end of this letter. So, I might as well enlighten you that you have inflicted this upon thy royal self.

You were carved out of a tree, decorated with embellishments and polished to look your best. But it is sad that you come with a class of arrogance that makes you stub my toe, dear husband’s toe & you won’t even spare the kids!

My tiny little squashy-sqwashy twinadoes! I think you can consider being a little tolerant to their punches and kicks. Where else should they practice? (definitely not on each other!)

You should also make a genuine effort in trying to be more considerate.

There are days when we are sleep-walking in the house into the middle of the night. One stub and the entire sleep goes for a toss! Who do you think is to blame for that? There are days when your wrath costs my toe to bleed and hurt for hours. And you stand there like an inanimate, staring back at me.

So I write this letter to give you one final Warning (read Threat!).

If you mess with us too much, we will give you to that raddiwala that you don’t like at all. He’ll divide you into bits and pieces. May be you land up at the roadside food truck.  They could chop vegetables on you day in and day out. We all know cutting on boards causes infinite shreds coming out and of the board.

May be that’s when you will consider wanting to come back to our house – but it would be too late.

So it’s important for you to REMEMBER who you messing with, dude!

Stop stubbing our toes, or Else…!

P.S. we are open to discussing this and one single apology can bring you back to being our favorite. You can enjoy us resting ourselves on you, decorating you with the world’s prettiest table covers and serving food over you every day! The choice is yours!

Yours Faithfully,

Mumma.

 

If your table has been giving you troubles too, SHARE the post with it!

Also, SHARE it with your friends so they can have ‘the talk’ with their table too!!

You may also like to read my blog for the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 prompt for day 4:- Neha Agarwal – A peek into this Babychakra Rockstar’s Life

This blog is as per my participation in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 .

Write Bravely!

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About the Author: mummasaurus

Wife to one, Mom to two and a friend to a hundred. Good, bad, awesome and horrible, all in one! Been through depression myself, I value the power of Entertainment and HUmor in our everyday life. That is why i choose to write about lighter, fun topics more than all the difficulties I went through! I'm Crazy Mom of Twin Boys, my TWINADOES - Chirag and Chitransh ...! Together we learn new things and explore new meltdown points of each other... I don't look for friends anymore, for I have personally given birth to my monster partners of Crime!!! A trained Counseling Psychologist by qualification, I am now a Quirky SAHM and a Creative Content Writer, whose world revolves around an awesome husband and 2 ruckus makers.

24 Comments

  1. I can see my sonny boy empathise with you on this one…it is he who keeps banging into the table every now and then and ends up getting his toes stubbed! Unique take on the prompt, Honey.:)

  2. My table is full of clutter these days. I am thinking poor one must be thinking oh Mumma pls come and declutter me. This post has given a thought to me I should do that atonce. Thanks

  3. I had a good laugh at stubbing toes- such misery dear tables give with their own legs- its like getting back at us for overbearing them with our “weight” 😋! Great write up!

  4. Hajhahahah Lovely posts. I have one table that is troubling us a lot. it wiggles from here till there and doesnt want to stay in one place. Poor him we tried to repair but he is aging and about to die soon. We might bring the new one soon 🙂 I lovvvvveeeeed the way your write

  5. I just can’t stop laughing. You know I actually sold off my 2 tables – coffee table & dinner table once kids started crawling as they were a big threat. And now we are table less. Only a mom can truly understand the “Importance” of tables & talking to them (or saying good bye in my case)

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