A Rendezvous with God (Hilarious Read)
Anxiously waiting with a laptop in my hand, ready with my questions. Waiting for that Epiphany, that Moment of truth where I feel that my guest has finally arrived. They say that in his reign, it may get delayed, but there’s never darkness. (देर है पर अंधेर नहीं….) By now, I’m positive that you have guessed it. Today, I’m in a candid, open hearted conversation with GOD – The Almighty himself!
I’m equal parts nervous and excited because honestly, we’ve been in conversation so many times. I’m more pally than a devotee per se. But today, since I have to reveal his ‘pally’ side to the world, I’m just a bit jittery of how he’s going to respond. This blog is a part of my participation in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6. The prompt for today is to feature a guest blog or an interview. So you know what I chose.
For added effects, Kindly read in Morgan Freeman’s tone of voice. (He’s my favourite God across Bollywood & Hollywood!)
God arrived in a matter of seconds. I thought about him and here he was! This is what my conversation looked like:-
Me:- What is God if all your superpowers are taken away?
God: I’m still God because no one can take my super powers away. Not like my creations have never tried (and failed miserably) but don’t you think it’s kind of impossible?
Keep a tab on your wishful thinking, you HUMAN.
Source: Giphy.com
Me: What do you do in your leisure time?
God: I create masterpieces. So the ‘most successful’ or the ‘biggest failure’ are both masterpieces I made in my free time. Same goes for the prettiest & the ugliest of people, and so on. Some turn out really awesome and some are just Beh..!
I also like to nap in between my routines. But you Humans go berserk every time I nap. You go on War or plan terrorist attacks and just mess it all up – Just like your toddler ruins everything in the kitchen while you nap. Then you go – “oh god save us!”.
Source: tenor.com
Me: That’s what I was coming to next. People complain that the problem with God is that he doesn’t listen to their prayers. They suffer from illnesses, they’re in difficult situations in life, they are stuck in war zones or terrorist attacks. Just wanted to know, why so?!
God: When you wake up from deep slumber with your kids slaying the house, Do you listen to them or you just whack them?
Me: Errmm… Please? May I request you to answer this for us?
God: See, I have this set of cards & a team of demigods who are responsible.
I’m God. I can’t personally sit down and manage your entire population on earth. So they have religions allotted. Whenever there is an incoming prayer from their religion, they pick a card as response and perform as per instructions on it. Like Card 542 means you will be stuck, locked in your toilet with no tissue. Card 799 means you will be saved just a few seconds before you are dying. Card 28 means someone close to you will betray you, so on & so forth.
Source: Tumblr.com
Some people are served karma right away, some take ages and some are mean and never get this karma dessert served. Now you know why!
Me: So, Why the Global Warming, Earthquakes, and other Natural calamities?
God: I’ve lost my patience and you guys are soo – soo many. I started with a man and a woman and thought of making a few more. Then it became so routine, that I decided to automate the process with all species. But Look at you guys! No one abused the privilege like you guys. So, time and again, I just like to shake up my jar and maybe chuck some cookies out so I can close the lid.
Source: tenor.com
Me: There have been stories of reincarnation is it true? does it happen?
God: Yes, old bottle new packing – we all do that, don’t we? There are days when I’m bored so I just refurbish older models and send them out into the world. So targets fulfilled and mood restored!
Source: http://photoshopcontest.com
Me: Is it ok to eat non-veg food on Tuesdays? Do you really get angry and cause our life to go hay wire because I ate a leg piece or a piece of cake on a Tuesday? How do you track who ate and who didn’t ..?
God: Come on now! Don’t ask me everything!!
Also,
Source: Giphy.com
Me: Any message for the believers?
God: ARE YOU KIDDING? I got so many books for you guys. Go read any of those for ‘my messages’ and kill some time y’all.
Source: GIPHY.com
Me: Message for atheists?
God: You don’t give a damn about me? Guess what, I don’t give a damn about you! But if you mess with God, you know, I can have my team pick the worse of cards. The benefit with God is that I get to decide!
Source:- www.Tenor.com
Me: Well, I really Thank You for your time and making an Interview with God possible. I’m sure my readers will enjoy the insight into how our life actually works!
God: Of course, the pleasure is Yours alone. You just killed my nap time. But still, I’d sign off by saying, if you need me, just think of me and all that – you know that gig, right?!
Me: Yes, God! Thank you, Almighty!
Well, I’m not really sure if he’s always that arrogant or did my statements in Bold hurt his ego (his statements in regular 😛 )
I hope you enjoyed reading this Interview with God.
Don’t forget to SHARE this article with your friends.
You may also like to check out my entry for Day 5 in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6 “My Dear Table” – An Open Letter to the Tables of the World
This Interview is my Day 7 entry in the Write Tribe Festival of Words #6
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About Author
mummasaurus
Wife to one, Mom to two and a friend to a hundred. Good, bad, awesome and horrible, all in one! Been through depression myself, I value the power of Entertainment and HUmor in our everyday life. That is why i choose to write about lighter, fun topics more than all the difficulties I went through! I'm Crazy Mom of Twin Boys, my TWINADOES - Chirag and Chitransh ...! Together we learn new things and explore new meltdown points of each other... I don't look for friends anymore, for I have personally given birth to my monster partners of Crime!!! A trained Counseling Psychologist by qualification, I am now a Quirky SAHM and a Creative Content Writer, whose world revolves around an awesome husband and 2 ruckus makers.
Next time when you meet him ..call me up for few more questions 😉 ..loved it.. ESPECIALLY the Gifs
Amazing out of the box thinking just like always Prisha. Lovely interview with god.
Wow i really like the idea behind this. Never read such an amazing interview with god. Your question and answers series keep the interest of your post. And specially the GIFs are so funny. Really wonderdul post.
The whole world is seeking God and he was busy interviewing with you.. he he.. Jokes apart loved the thought of this article. <3
That was so interesting. Truly loved reading it. God is so cool and awesome in this interview 😉
Oh My God, i just virtually died there laughing. 😍 it was so fun. And yes Morgan Freeman is my favourite filmt God too.. I literally imagined him delivering those dialogues and the fun doubled…
I totally njoyd this question answer series….. Quite different… N best was “god: y.do u ask me fr everything..” it’s a reality check….
I actually read all the God’s line in Morgan’s voice 🙌 that was a great article
God knows what true. Loved reading your post. God bless all 🙂
I just loved this unique article ❤ the way you have articulated the thoughts is provoking 👍
Hahaha.. i was laughing throughout.. awesomely written! Loved it
Love the Gods interview and you compiled it so well and love the different take
Enjoyed reading it. It was an unique post. You are so creative…
Hahaha That answer about kids slaying the house is hilarious. I completely enjoyed reading this post. You are so creative and so witty. The interview was hilarious 😁😁
Wow! Such an interesting read. Love the idea behind this post. You thought about the prompt in a very very creative way!! Kudos!! Will love to read more such posts.
Great article it’s good that you have found the answers to yourself which works best
Such a wonderful read Prisha. I couldn’t stop laughing all through. But I can also see some serious overtones behind this humour. As usual, a great output from a creative mind like yours.
Just loved the idea .Highly creative .All the best!
That was amazing post. I recalled “A letter to God” fiction from my 10th std text book.
Loved reading it. Those GIFs are so hilarious.
Beautiful! I connect to this article! So we’ll worded!
Nice way of imagining all of the above and putting it across. Great job.
Haha so well written with a great sense of humour
I love it.
Awesome
https://www.mumbai2melbourne.com
I dont agree with the message for atheists
Brother, I’m an atheist too! This is written just in jest – God or me, don’t mean any of it. The blog is for entertainment purposes alone 🙂
This is an interesting write up and I love it a lot. And I must tell you that you have really extraordinary thinking while you write down.
Creative piece for the given prompt. Your posts are loaded with positive vibes and warmth. Just enjoyed reading each line of this post.
Such an interesting read. Next time you meet him, Let me know, I have a few questions left unanswered
The Morgan Freeman voice definitely makes it quite interesting.
This post reminds me of God tussi great ho.. 🙂 really interesting
Those Morgan Freeman GIFs made this post all the more interesting
This is such a cool post. I love the GIFs. <3
Loved reading the interview with God. And I totally read in Morgan Freeman’s voice. If you meet him again, please do ask him if he would mind meeting me for a few minutes. Have a few questions of mine too. Fun read indeed! 🙂
Woah! I loved reading this interesting interview with god. First to start with the title, it grabbed my attention in very first glance.Glad it did! Your questions weren’t only cool but tricky too. Even the God couldn’t answer them all 😝 Maybe he didn’t want to get into any kind of trouble after making remarks. Must say, he played the whole interview game quite smartly 😬 hehe
Loved this piece! 😊
hahahahaha Thank You!!! Yes, he must be careful you know, with the many that come to my blog, he wouldn’t want any “news” headlines forming after his statement 😉
“Pleasure is all yours” ROFL…..I am loving this version of God. And yes, Morgan Freeman does come real close to portraying GOD. I especially liked your style of writing. Very entertaining yet meaningful. Superb!!!
Once again your gifs are killing it here. Hilarious. Morgan Freeman is indeed my most fav God I think. And i loved your ate non veg on tuesday question. Hilarious.
Interesting concept. And love the Morgan Freeman GIFs 😀
This piece gleams with brilliance, from the physical portrayal to bringing His personality out with each answer and justifying all “acts of God” in such an understandable way, I mean – Standing ovation!!!
I would like to republish it on my blog as you being the guest writer. Can I?
Oh My Oh My!!! Yes please 🙂
really enjoyed reading it 🙂
Loved your take on god and the pally side of him Prisha. It’s so simple and yet so meaningful. The best part was to imagine all his answers as Morgan Freeman as he is my favorite god as well
I literally fell off the chair and LOLed after reading this!
Unique Post 🙂 as always. You rock girl!
#vigorousreads #MyFriendAlexa
Well, Indeed this is an amazing way of portraying a conversation. And yes, I imagined Morgan Freeman talking only. He was amazing in the movie!
A great post, and the greatness of the topic is more behind the idea that has gone in executing that idea with such excellence. We all keep talking to God and we do so in our private space and we keep raising such profound questions but really more interesting is the way you have handled those questions and come with such wise answers.
Indeed God also need rest and how can we blame God when we do such idiotic things in his absence and question him for we carelessly engaging in such stupidity. Introducing Morgan Freeman is a crafty choice, this dialogue with God as a very well scripted movie unfolds as if it getting screened in front of us.
It was indeed a delight being part of your wonderful Rendezvous with God.
Haha. That was cute. I am sure if GOD ever comes for an interview he’ll likely answer like this. We trouble him for just everything, I wont blame him if he gets irritated and gives a damn about us. #LiveItYoungReads #MyFriendAlexa